Friday Two Cents: Opening My Mind To Different Possibilities


To those of you who are single, do you get this from your friends who are married or in a relationship, “Why are you single, you’re a great guy? You should ask so and so out. Or go onto a dating website.” I have never been married just occasionally in a relationship of one kind or another but I have been single for most of my life. Yet why is it that people in relationships keep telling me I should find someone?

He is attractive, happy and enjoying life. Let’s get him married so that can all stop!

Mind you I have to admit that I work with mostly women and they constantly look to push me into some kind of relationship. They tell me I’m attractive and for intensive purposes I am happy and I am enjoying life immensely.  So why are they trying to marry me off? I guess when women see these traits in a man they must think, “He is attractive, happy and enjoying life. Let’s get him married so that can all stop!” Ha Ha Ha. I am joking of course but is that truly the case on what people think when they see single people?  That singles are unhappy without someone?
Then I saw some research that shed some light on this subject matter. It was rather eye-opening and I thought I’d share it. According to new research in the journal Psychological Science, there’s a reason for this kind of thinking. It’s because most of us believe that our own life status is best for everyone. We tend to judge others who don’t share the same experiences we do! They did a study that provides a good example.
They mentioned one study, where over 100 students were asked to think about a typical night for an imaginary person. When the imaginary person was described by the researchers as single, the students who were also single were more likely to say that the person had a good night. Yet the other students who were in a relationship were more likely to say the imaginary person had a miserable night! 

In a relationship vs being single?

The study went on to say that this mentality continues to follow us everywhere, including at work. They continued by showing studies of hiring managers who are single would more likely hire applicants who were also single, and managers who were married would more likely to be drawn to applicants who were also married.
The question comes down to “Why is this all happening?” According to a psychologist from Stanford University, Kristin Laurin, it comes down to the fact that many of us idealize our own life status as a way of feeling content with our choices. Basically, we all want to believe we’re making the right choices. Interesting! So a single person idealizes their choice thinking those in a relationship are suckers and the reverse for those in a relationship.
Yet I have noticed that married and those in relationships seem to pity those who are single. I believe this study sheds light on why they think that but I think being single should not be pitied. Those who have chosen to be single are happy. I have to admit that I like being single yet I leave the door open to finding someone.
Therefore with this new knowledge I will not get upset with people who ask me why I am single. Instead I will simply say, “You know, if you want me to be in a relationship I am open to the possibility. If you know someone who would be a good match for me, I will go out with her. You make the arrangements and I will go out with her and I genuinely will put in the effort.”
I just have to keep in mind this simple quote that has been a call to action for me to be all that I can be:


‘We know what we are, but know not what we may be.’ William Shakespeare


I will take the risk and open my mind to different possibilities.



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